Sunday, May 10, 2009

Anonymous said...

God for many years I've felt I was always an odd person. My high metabolism makes me feel angry at how skinny I am and many girls aren't after a skinny dude. I constantly daydream and wish I was else where. I prefer the night than to the daytime. I'm very polite when needed and have excellent manners. I hate rap and hip/hop so much. I watch Tv series to escape my life but know there are good things in my life. I have a terrible blushing problem, attention towards me and giving speeches in front of people is hell for me. I'm very shy and I usually feel alone, even though I have a various amount of friends. I don't show alot of emotion but I always have alot of it inside. I'm not afraid of alot of things including death and others I havent experienced yet but I think again I suppress alot of things so maybe that's why I'm not afraid. I lie to feel excepted by various persons, but not to my very good friends, I guess the lying is more boredom. I get stressed out alot but I also worry about things too much. Revenge is a waste of time for me. I'm also very lazy and laid-back. I always dress casual because comfort is what I love. I've been in many accidents: being hit by a car while on foot, run over by a farm vehicle, crushed by heavy equipment, shot in the foot, and other minor accidents, I feel bad luck hovers around me. I really don't like my brothers, they've ungrateful, unreliable, and are constant headaches. Both want nothing more than to drive people crazy,and bother and annoy everyone around them. I always wake up before my alarm goes off, at least 5 minutes and I feel like I never get enough sleep even if I got 8 or more hours. I havent had that many girlfriends, only 3, and I fell so hard for one that it almost felt like it killed me when she didnt even want to talk to me anymore. She said that if she talked to me about the break-up and wanting to still be friends (even with benefits) that she couldn't have wanted to be just friends with benifits but again more than that. She said she just had to look away and put it behind us, because she did care for me but when looking at me she wanted me so much more. I know she's nuts. I'm also attracted to very out-going women and ones that have weird quirks and unusual ideas and say off-the-wall things and have a macabre feel. Sometimes I feel like a hopeless romantic. Love is something I think about more than sex. I get chills when I listen to love songs/ballads that I like and often sing some of them myself, they touch me. I obsess over the women I find attractive but I'm not too hurt when they don't feel the same way. I believe in true love. I openly express how much I care and love someone. I can't stop thinking about women I cared and loved some much. I think about marriage and having a child even when I tell myself that I'm not worried or going to think too much about it until my late 20s.

I'm not talkative to just anybody the very best of friends see the real me. I'll talk to my best friends about anything even things that other people will ask "Did he just say that?". I'm deeply honest but not hurtful with my best friends, no secrets. I don't judge a person based on anything, even when they say weird things or act way too crazy, until I get to know them. I see the good in every person even when others only see the bad. I'm always told I'm a great listener and I'm always willing to help with a problem or just talk to them if something is bothering them. I lose alot of the wierd things about me when i drink including the shyness. I'm not sure but I think I might be a hypocondriac. And the fact I haven't cried in 4 years, really makes me feel uneasy.

I'm on the other side of the world, away from some of my best friends who I care so much for and a girl that has everything that my heart knows is the greatest, but is in a relationship already. I wont get to see my friends or family for a long time because of my job and I might not see many of my friends again. I still call them every once in a while and say how much i miss them. I know long distance friendships and relationships are hard but I never felt this sad and crappy before. After joining the military, my job, I knew I'd miss my friends back home, but after being at the same base for four years and making many friends there it was so much harder to leave there than leaving home. I felt that being there that long I lost all I did and all the friends I made there and now I feel so lonely even when I call them, and I feel lost.

This may be a broad question for you, but I just have to ask. What's wrong with me?

Answer from God through Carley:

"There is nothing wrong with you. You are a child of mine, and the things you experience in this life are things you agreed to and the others in your life also agreed to their part in your life. That said, you don't have to wallow in the circumstances and situations that you agreed to. You can choose to be any way you want to be. You and every living being has been given free will. Are you also a product of your environment? Only if you choose to be.

Education is invaluable. Read about and learn about what interests you. Feel free to find a worthy role model to emulate.

The most important thing to remember is to live in truth. Stop lying. No matter what you think, it does not serve you. I'd like you to learn to meditate. Work hard at it and then with me you can find your center and then each day, return there. When you live from center, from truth, absolutely everything else will fall naturally into place."

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