Tuesday, December 29, 2009

amy said...

where are you? I am trying so hard to understand. Beyond the financial crisis and every thing else going on...... I ASK WHERE ARE YOU? I find comfort in music and beer. I have had such a screwed up childhood and now as an adult I am still tying to solve everyones elses problems and have gotten to the point where no one elses feelings matter. I am tired of being the strong person that has all the answers. Yes; ......I know try to let everyone know that they need to take of thier own problems....BLAH...BLAH...BLAH It's not going to happen! I know, PRAY, well that is kind of repetitive to me. I'm tired of being the problem solver and the business tyaker of er'. I have a college education and a full time job and I'm sick of it. I have two beatiful children and a wonderful husband aside from his procrastination and indecision and lack of focus but......I'll take care of it because I'm the person that takes care of it all. My mom is a drunk and I've dealt with that since birth and there's much more.........so don't tell me to seek couseling for myself or anyone else involved because there is no use. My shoulders are so bogged down it is excrutiating. But, that is my job....I am sick of it. God is not in this computer with some part time kid reading a handbook of appropriate answers, or links to reccomended couseling. GOD HELP ME!

Answer from God through Carley:

"I am here, as close as your own heartbeat. So you're sick of being the fixer. That makes sense. Then stop finding people who need fixing. Instead seek out people who've spent some time figuring things out. Find people who can and will help you. If you continue to take comfort in beer, you will follow in your mother's footsteps. I know that when you take a good look around you, this is not the future you would pick for yourself. Everyone has been given the same gift of free will. Some use it brilliantly. Others give their free will away. What will you do with yours in the future? Forgive your past and all of those in it including you, knowing that you cannot change the past but you can change the moment you are in and every moment to come. You get to choose how you behave, react, act and think. I think you'd agree with me that it's time you started making better choices. You think you're not worth it, but I know better. You are a beloved child of mine. You are worth everything."

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