Monday, December 28, 2009

Kate said...

My husband and I have been on rocky ground for over a year. We are struggling financially and he believes that his focus and the priority should be on work and bringing in money. I say that without the firm foundation of a solid relationship, what does being stable financially accomplish? I feel like I have been pushed to the last thing on the list for the past six years and I've told him that I would like us to sit down and work on things together, try to figure it out as a team. He refuses, saying that he is doing what he needs to do and won't accept any input from me. I'm not happy. I am ready to call it quits. He can be a sweet and thoughtful man, and there have been times when it seems like we make some progress and I can see staying in the relationship, but it has come back to this point several times and I feel so defeated. It has affected every aspect of my life, as well. I have six kids and I don't feel like I've been a very good mother lately. I am sad most of the time and can't seem to find peace in anything. I don't want to do this anymore and would love to have some direction.

Answer from God through Carley:

"When a couple has two separate beliefs about what will fix things in their marriage, it's the very beliefs that limit what can happen. Your husband feels that if he makes enough money all your troubles will melt away and you feel as though if you hunkered-down and worked out things together the money you need would come. What you haven't said is that you wish your husband would give you more of him. I gave each of you a voice. Not saying what you're really feeling isn't helping. Say what you're really feeling. Ask him to say the same things. Create a space that is quiet, safe and in neutral territory. Go there with the understanding that you are really going to talk things out. The outcome from an open-hearted meeting of two people who love each other with the needs of the family in mind is pure potential. When you ask for my help, you have it. Decide to trust each other and take a step out in faith. I'm right here anytime you seek me."

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