Sunday, June 13, 2010

Anonymous said...

I wish to ask for an answer. I have been living with a man for almost 4 years. It has been difficult, as I seem to have been the one much more in love, and he has been hesitant to get married, giving me an engagement ring under pressure, but never setting a date etc. When I made it clear that I would really leave he then said not too, that we would get married. But everything I have read says a marriage should be desired by both with all their hearts. He has been twice divorced and would rather just continue living together. In the meantime I have met a man, who is religious, and I have been meeting with him several times a week - I met him in a business situation about a year ago. He has listened to some of my problems and thinks I should move out and pray that God forgives me and ask God to send me a man to become my husband in the future. He thinks I should realize that my current fiance is unevenly yoked and that he obviously does not love me enough to take the next step and want to make me his wife.

The problem is that all of a sudden I think I have either developed a crush or am falling in love with this friend. He is dating several women and has shown an interest in me - he has been insisting on holding my hand, giving me hugs, etc. I think he wants to settle with one girl pretty soon (in the past - 15 years ago, he was a huge ladies man, but then he found God, gave up drinking, took care of his dying Father for many years, currently has his Mother living at his house.) He is talking about getting serious with one particular woman, bringing up the fact that he might marry her one day, since she recently is divorcing. He tells me that she is very nice, he used to like her but she was married. He doesn't want to let her slip through his fingers when others find out her divorce is final. I admitted that I was jealous she would be getting such a good man. This is when he started holding my hand, etc. He told me that many years ago when he felt true love it was like magic. I think he has been trying to hold my hand and hug to see if the earth moves for either of us. I blush when he does any of these things. All of a sudden I am feeling feelings for him - feeling that I am not feeling for my fiance. It almost hurts a little in my chest when I think about this new man - I miss his attenion of late. I know it is wrong to continually see him (under the guise of learning about the stockmarket) but I am so happy when visiting him and his Mother. I smile and laugh - he makes me feel so good. I like that he believes the man should be a spiritual leader. He is smarter than me, yet he is not competitive with me, he seems to think of my needs, not just his needs. He seems so much more confident than my man. It seems that with my man, his needs are always way before mine.

I am thoroughly confused as to why I feel this new pinge in my chest. I am sad that he may eventually marry this other woman, because he is so different from any man I have loved. The other men I have loved, never seemed to really, really love me back. He seems to care more about me. Of course I am afraid that he is not real - that he is still deep down a ladies man.

God, please help me. I get so confused - at times I think you brought me to this man and at times I think I am just a fool.

Please, please answer me.

Answer from God through Carley:

"The perfect partner for you cannot find you when you are in the wrong relationship.  What if you think about the new man, not as a possible relationship but as an answer to your prayers for clarity?  What if you view him as a confidence booster and with him you are able to see things about yourself that you were forgetting or perhaps never believed about yourself?  What if this new man were to show you that you are desirable and that you possess many wonderful qualities that your perfect partner would cherish above all else?

A ladies man is not perfect for you, nor is a man who wavers back and forth, never truly choosing you.  You are a child of mine.  You are already loved beyond measure and worthy of real love in return for the real love you have to give.

I am always listening when you speak to me and I answer every prayer.  Pay closer attention and examine every coincidence."

No comments: