Saturday, April 7, 2012

RD said...

Dear God,

For most of my 37 years I have been awkward, uncertain of myself, even a little lost. 5 years ago you blessed my husband and me with our beautiful daughter. In caring for her, I focused and finally started to feel as though my life were on track.

Then almost a year ago I started getting baffling and extremely scary health problems (something wrong between my thyroid and stomach and it's messing with my heart rhythm). It is a puzzle and even my doctors are getting tired of trying to figure it out. I have been in such horrible fear and misery over this. I do not even have a diagnosis yet, just symptoms and lab results that make no sense, and a quality of life that feels so unbearable sometimes.

The horrible thing though is worrying about my little girl. I don't want her to know me only as the mommy that is always sick -because as much as I put on a good face for her, some days I can barely function. And I don't want her to lose her mom as such a young age. It's all so uncertain and scary.

Dear Lord, I wanted to ask why this is happening to me. But, instead, the more important question is: will I make it through this, heal, and be made whole again? I am so scared.

Answer from God through Carley:

"Everything one goes through in life is a teacher.  Whether you learn a lesson or not is up to you.  Whether you choose fear or the opposite of fear - love - is also up to you.  Fear can only live where love is not present.  Love yourself.  Ask your body what it needs.  Listen.  Your barriers are mental not physical.  Choose love over fear and trust that you are never alone.  Move your feet in some way toward what you do want and give the fear that paralyzes you to me.  Every day count your blessings and be grateful."

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